Fimela.com, Jakarta We can shine through every life choice we make in life.Both in terms of education, career or work, and the choice of dreams and aspirations.Every woman can become a tough figure through every life choice she makes.As in the writing of Fimela's friend who was included in the October 2020 Share Your Stories Contest: Be Your Version of Lady Boss.“God can always turn our pain into gain, our misery into ministry, our tragedy into triumph.”When I was born into this world, of course I couldn't choose what gender I was.What is clear, my parents expect a daughter as their first child because they believe that a daughter will be able to help and care for their parents.The high expectations from my parents even before I was born made me educated to be a tough, strong, and ambitious person.Behind all the facades of toughness that are formed, I can not turn away from the instincts of a woman who has been designed by the Creator.This nurturing and caring figure is actually felt by women in all parts of the world, including me.Moreover, being born as the first daughter, there were times when I felt like a paradox;must be gentle and strong at the same time to be reliable;be the first to bear the hopes and desires of parents;educated in a very disciplined manner so that they can be a proper example for their younger siblings;be a place to accommodate parental complaints when life does not go smoothly;and be at the forefront of reconciling family members who are fighting.In fact, being the only and highly anticipated daughter, made my life quite spoiled.Being pampered does not mean I can live extravagantly, but what is asked and needed, my parents always try to fulfill it.Sometimes I can't wait to get what I want as quickly as possible.I tend to turn a blind eye to all the sacrifices and hard work of my parents to fulfill my wish.My mind is only focused on trying to get what I want.Yes, my ambitious nature which is usually my mainstay has backfired this time.But all that drastically changed 180 degrees overnight because of an incident that changed my life greatly.Like being struck by lightning in broad daylight, I suddenly received news from my sister that my father had died.My father died of a heart attack exactly one day before the talent show night of the beauty pageant I was participating in.My world suddenly went dark and turned upside down in just one night.All the preparations for the show to make my parents proud seemed meaningless and just disappeared.Usually my father is the person I can rely on the most when I need it, but now I have to be independent and struggle to rely on myself.If in the past I was always given pocket money and not allowed to earn my own money, I finally had to learn to sell to meet my needs.If I used to tend to act as I pleased, now I have to be careful with my steps and carefully consider every decision I make.Including my dream to fight to be a winner in the event that I participated in, I had to suppress it and accept the fact that maybe it wasn't my way.In order to realize the hopes of my parents, I must be strong and tough to accept the reality even though I feel very lost.When I feel down and sad, I can't be complacent and have to get up immediately.If I am broken, who should be the foundation of the family when my mother is so devastated by the loss of her soul mate and my sister who is not old enough to accept this harsh reality?I must take that responsibility and live it because it is proper that the first child is the strongest and most reliable child.If it wasn't for God's help, maybe I wouldn't be able to withstand the burden of this sudden test.I am very grateful for still holding on to my faith and believing that there is a more beautiful plan of God in the future.One thing I never thought, things my father forbade when he was alive, now I can do and it makes me a much more mature and mature person.I never thought that I could open my own business, wake up early, and sell late at night while working on finishing my thesis.After graduating from college, I was able to go abroad to work and seek new experiences and activities that I had never experienced before.From this I learned that painful events if responded to with a sincere heart, then it will urge us to continue to grow and spur us to do things that we thought we could never do before.What doesn't kill you make you stronger.So I asked myself, is it true that the love of parents and the reluctance to see their children experience a difficult life can hinder the development of the child's own personality?Even if it's for their own good?I don't know, my life will never be the same again.I'm not a spoiled and selfish person anymore.From this incident I also learned to stop trying to beat others and start focusing on fixing my own shortcomings.Your biggest enemy is yourself, not others.Being born as the eldest daughter was not my choice.But I have chosen to be responsible for the trust that God gave me when I was born into this world.Even though I feel like I haven't become a lady boss that many people should emulate, I have learned to be a lady boss for myself and my family.I have to be able to come to terms with reality, rise from adversity and knit the future to make my parents proud.